Moving in with your partner is said to be a step closer to marriage. But not every couple who moved in together had a happily-ever-after.
Living with your partner is not that easy, it’s not like what you see in movies where both partners are perfect for each other and don’t have a care in the world. In the real world, you might have a misunderstanding about some things, the other partner might have forgotten the groceries or to feed the dog, and you also might be fighting about chores. Actually, there are a lot of issues that develop when partners decide on moving in together.
Reality check: Relationships and decisions are not smooth sailings all the time; sometimes you will get discouraged or angry about certain things, so before taking the big leap get something straight.
Here are some things you need to know before you move in together:
1. Who’s going to pay the bills? Me or him? Who will be managing the money?
This is the first thing you must be aware of before moving in. A lot of couples who have moved in together said that they should’ve talked about this first. Money could be the reason you and your partner will be fighting. To avoid misunderstandings, try to bring up the finances, don’t be afraid of asking how much your partner earns, it’s your right to know cause the two of you will soon be living under the same roof. Also, you should clarify who will pay the bills and who will be managing the money. Determine whether you will be splitting the bills or not.
2. Why are we moving in?
If you’re the type of person who believes in “follow what your heart says”, better open your eyes – you should be following what’s on your mind, not your heart. Moving in together may give you joy and butterflies in your stomach but face it, there are things to be considered. You also might be having expectations that he will be putting a ring on your finger. Sad to say, but you should set that thought aside. Maybe he is just thinking that he could save half his salary by splitting the bills with you. Simply put, better think about WHAT will happen if the two of you start living together.
3. Set up house rules.
Both of you will be living together – no more mommy to fix the mess you’ve made. You don’t want to have a pig pen as a home. Cleanliness should be the first thing on your list; cleaning is not that easy, you may face misunderstandings due to your differences. Figure out who will do this chore and when. Schedule everything.
4. A time for friends.
Discuss how much time you will be away from each other and with your friends. You might get too attached and you might get on his/her nerves. Give your partner a break – you already live with him/her. It’s the best thing you could have, keep it and take good care of it. A day without your partner won’t be that bad. You might be on the road to break up if you won’t give each other some space. You’ll regret it when it’s over.
5. Do I trust my partner?
You should ask yourself this. It’s hard if you don’t trust your partner, it could ruin your relationship. You might over think a lot of things that your partner doesn’t even do. Imagine this, he goes out with friends and you’re at home thinking what the hell is he doing, who’s he with or is he with a girl. And you’ll surely keep texting him. In the end, you’ll be ruining your own relationship.
6. What are your expectations for the future?
Don’t set up very high expectations for your partner, you might get depressed in the end. Moving in with your partner can give you additional information about him. Try to find out if he is capable of taking care of children (if you are planning), if he prioritizes cleanliness, etc. Some say that moving in will let you know if he is “the one”.
7. What happens if we break up?
The two of you should have a clear understanding of which assets to retain. It makes break ups easier; ideally you should write what assets to retain. And yes, break ups are possible.