If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousand times. Self confidence is sexy. There’s nothing more attractive than a man or woman who’s confident in his/her own skin. Having self confidence makes you more self-assured, happier, less overly sensitive and so much more.
Unfortunately, it’s not always easy to feel and be confident, is it? It’s easy to say “be yourself” and all that. But being yourself doesn’t always guaranty you will be seen as someone worthy of respect and love, does it? With little or no confidence to begin with, how can you start building one?
Here are 9 steps to do just that.
Step 1: Change your perspective.
People who have low self-esteem think they’re not really good for much. That’s just not true. Everyone is good at something. The key is finding what it is that you excel at doing and focusing on that.
You could be good at art, music or writing. You could be great at dancing. Maybe you’re a fantastic swimmer or you can make delicious desserts. Can’t think of any? Then just ask yourself what you love or take interest in. Then start learning about it more.
Whatever your talent may be, take pride in it. Remember, you are only a victim if you allow yourself to be one.
Stay positive. Keep negativity at bay by refusing to indulge in self-pity.
Step 2: Be proud of your good qualities.
You are more than just your skills and talents. You also have to take pride in whatever makes your personality great. Do you have a great sense of humor? Are people always telling you how good a listener you are? Can you cope well under stress? Are you highly adaptable to change?
You have many admirable qualities. Dig deep and revel in them.
Step 3: Know your weakness.
To be really confident in your skin, you also need to recognize whatever makes you insecure. It’s like going to a battlefield. Your talents, skills and good qualities are your weapons. Your insecurities are the enemy. You may have all the tools for the fight, but if you don’t take time to know about who or what you’re fighting against, you could still lose.
So identify what makes you uncomfortable or ashamed about yourself (regrets, looks, past negative experiences or something else maybe). By being aware, you are taking the first step to dealing with your weaknesses.
Step 4: Find support.
It’s not always easy going at things alone. And let’s face it, it is one thing to tell yourself you’re awesome. It’s another thing to actually hear other people say it.
So, find people to talk to. It could be friends or loved ones. Confide about what makes you doubt your self-worth. Let them help you get to the root of your problem. And allow them to help you move on from it. Even if by the end of the day they can’t help you, just having someone to listen is help enough.
Step 5: Learn from your mistakes.
To err is human and all that. You’re not perfect. You will make mistakes, and the chances are that you have already made some. Anyone and everyone will feel they lack something at one point in their life. The sooner you accept this, the faster you can accept that life is full of road bumps. You’d then be free to see that whatever insecurities you may have can be taken as learning experiences instead.
Step 6: Stop comparing yourself to others.
As the saying goes, there’s always going to be someone better than you, and you will always be better than someone else. That makes it pointless to measure your success in terms of what others have accomplished. Focus on improving yourself. You are still your own worst enemy.
Step 7: Take action.
You have already taken the first steps in building your self-confidence when you accepted your weaknesses and embraced your positive attributes. Take it further by practicing accepting compliments gracefully and smiling more.
And if you’re still too shy to let the world see you, then remember that you can fake it. Just acting confident can make you believe it. Pretend to be a more confident version of yourself and you’d be amazed how good it can make you feel.
Step 8: Check your body language.
Pay careful attention to how you angle your body when you talk to people. Often, your lack of self confidence is easily seen from the way you avert your eyes, slouch, or hold your arms folded against your body. People will respond accordingly to what they see. So if you want to project self confidence, then make sure your body language reflects it, too.
Step 9: Appearance matters.
You don’t have to look like a movie star to exude confidence. Just take better care of yourself. Eat healthy. Wear clothes that fit. Shower daily. Brush your teeth. If you feel good about how you look, you’ll also start feeling more confident.
Self confidence starts from being able to feel good about yourself. These 9 steps will help you do just that. Try them out and you’d be amazed what a little bit of belief in yourself can do for your life.